WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a press conference held earlier today President Bush gave a detailed explanation of why he supports the U.A.E.'s involvement in U.S. ports.
"I watched the movie The Godfather a few weeks ago," the president said, "and in it, some guy says 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' Well, you see, someone told me America is physically really far away from the U.A.E., so, I got to thinking, if the U.A.E. is our friend, we should let them run our ports because having good friends close by is a good thing and if we have any terrorism we can call on them for help. If the U.A.E. is our enemy then we should bring a bunch of their guys over here to run our ports so we can keep a really close eye on them, and, if they start some terrorism, instead of sending the Army halfway across the world to bring them to justice we can just send over the local port authority in a couple of squad cars."
"So all you people who are happy to have them as friends - don't worry! Having them here is a good thing! And to all you people who think they are enemies - don't worry! Having them here is a good thing!