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Hurricanes Pissing People Off
Editorial: Guy McSandersFellowsonchildbraham
President Bush: Damn poor people.
President Clinton: I did not...have...sexual...relations...with...that...hurricane. Wait, which hurricane? Define sex.
FEMA: The "E" stands for what now?
Louisiana governor: It's the federal government's fault.
New Orleans mayor: It's the federal government's fault.
Black people: It's Whities fault.
White people: Where's my damned latte?
Poor people: Hello? Is anybody listening?
Hurricane homeless: Sleeping on an army cot sucks.
Regular Homeless: Sleeping on an army cot sucks.
Gulf Coast: It wasn't just New Orleans.
New Orleans Saints owners: Can we finally build a new stadium with public money now?
Intelligent Design backers: Okay, maybe Not-Quite-Intelligent Design instead?
Insurance companies: Here, sign this piece of paper without reading it or you won't receive your benefit claim.
Fundamentalist religious zealots: Sinners repent!
Pfc. England: The hurricanes made me do it.
Red Cross: Send money!
Other charities: Send something...anything!
Oil companies: We were hoping Rita would be more devastating.
Environmentalists: We told you so.
Former FEMA Chief: Stupid freedom of the press.
Haliburton: When are we getting the friggin' contracts for the relief efforts?
Actors/Musicians: How many free fundraising events are we supposed to do a year?
Brad Pitt: Katrina and I are just good friends.
Jerry Springer Special: That bitch Katrina done stole my man!
DeLAy: Shouldn't we be concentrating on the hurricane relief efforts?
Third-World Countries: It ain't so easy, is it?
Roberts: I cannot answer the question of hurricanes in the abstract. I cannot comment on hurricanes as that issue may someday come before the court. I will not allow my personal beliefs to interfere with hurricanes and how they relate to the constitution. Doctor Zhivago rocks.
Microsoft: It's Google's fault.
Google: We don't do evil things.
Apple: The iPod Nano screen is fine.