WASHINGTON D.C. -"I know exactly where the war is," Bush stated in his televised appearance on Sunday night. "It's in Iraq. Duh."
Bush continued, "We thought we had lost the war for awhile, I mean, we couldn't find anybody to fight over there, but then we started shooting at some 'civilians' and we found the war again."
The president told the nation Sunday night that Iraq's elections signaled the birth of democracy in the Middle East and argued against a U.S. troop pullout. Some observers thought he took the "birth" and "pulling out" metaphors too far.
"Iraq is like a woman in the throes of a years long labor of democracy," Bush stated. "We are giving her all the epidurals we can to ease the birthing pains but it is still a long, hard process. But rest assured, we will cut the umbilical cord of freedom for her and will give cigars to all of the coalition of the willing."
When asked about an early pull out, Bush finished with this, "Iraq is also like a woman in the throes of passion, and they sure do hate it when we pull out early...hey? Hey? Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more."