President Bush released a statement earlier today letting Americans know that the failures at all levels of government in dealing with Hurricane Katrina had nothing to do with race.
"I have nothing but respect for Black people. All Black people. Even those in prison. I can honestly say I have never met a Black person I did not like. I especially like the way they dance and play basketball."
"Some of my best friends are Black," continued Bush. "Well, not Black exactly, more like a light-mocha-chocolate color, you know, kinda creamy. But heck ya, they sure are nice, especially those light-colored ones."
"I mean, look at Dr. Condoleezza Rice and Colin Powell - I love those guys."
"No no no, New Orleans and the rest of the Gulf Coast had nothing to do with race at all...it's just a shame there were so many poor people down there. If those people weren't so poor they might have had a television or radio with which to listen to the evacuation warnings. Or maybe if they could read they could have read the headlines in the newspapers with which they wrap themselves at night to keep warm - which I've heard is actually pretty comfortable. Or maybe if they had a job they would have waited on some middle-class or rich people at the Pottery Barn in the mall or at a McDonalds, struck up a conversation, and learned about it that way. Then, after they'd taken the bus home they could have warned all their friends to start walking out of town."
"So you see, the problem wasn't Black people, the problem was poor people."