DAMASCUS, SYRIA - "We should re-evaluate what's going on in Iraq," Syrian president Bashar Al-Assad told CNN. "What did we achieve, what did they achieve from the war in Iraq. It's a very simple question. What did they achieve economically, politically, fighting terrorism."
American president George Bush responded, "Economically, Halliburton has received tens of billions of dollars in profit. Politically, I got reelected. That's the dream America is realizing in Iraq."
Al-Assad's regime has received sharp criticism from the United States, which has alleged the country shelters terrorist organizations and has failed to take measures to prevent fighters from crossing the border into Iraq.
In a speech on terrorism last week, Bush said, "The influence of Christian radicalism is also magnified by helpers and enablers. They have been sheltered by authoritarian regimes: allies of convenience like myself and...oh...wait...heh heh...my bad, sorry, wrong speech. The influence of Islamic radicalism is also magnified by helpers and enablers. They have been sheltered by authoritarian regimes: allies of convenience like Syria and Iran that share the goal of hurting America and moderate Muslim governments and use terrorist propaganda to blame their own failures on the West and America and on the Jews."
A U.N. investigation is trying to determine if Syria played a role in the February 14 bombing that killed Hariri. He had opposed Syria's decades-long presence in Lebanon, and his death sparked protests that led to Syria's withdrawal in April.
"Syria was not involved with Hariri's death, " Al-Assad said. "It was impossible for me to have ordered it."
"Come on," Bush replied "Impossible? Don't you mean that other one? Inoperable? No, interpretational? Wait! Celebrational? You know, that one that means it could not have happened."