(Editor's note: This is the first in a series of articles on how Hurricane Katrina has affected various industries across the U.S.)
"Work and hobbies just don't seem very important these days, not when people - American citizens - have lost everything they own," said Cassandra 'Boobs' McCormick before going on stage at Jim's Grill Thrill and Drill in Laughlin, Nevada. "I mean, stripping naked, strapping on a dildo and riding the mechanical bull just doesn't give me the same sense of purpose and accomplishment it once did. It's somehow lost its meaning."
Cassandra's story is not unique. Hundreds of adult film actors and actresses around the country that have no family or connection in any way whatsoever with the Gulf Coast - people that have little to no reason to be negatively impacted by Hurricane Katrina at all - are finding it difficult to cope.
"I haven't been able to get it up for weeks now," said Drew 'Big Balls' Sizemore. "I've been popping viagra like candy, but nothing. And it's not only me, I'll be riding some guy bareback, go for the reach around, and he'll be as flaccid as me. It really sucks."
The sale of pornographic videos, sex toys and other marriage-enhancing objects has been in decline since the weeks following Hurricane Katrina. "Gas prices are at an all-time high, so you know the oil companies and oil refineries are doing well and the sale of all kinds of goods and services has remained fairly stable, but peoples' libido seem to be down," said one porn industry analyst. "It must be all that death and destruction on the television. It's easy to overlook those kinds of things when it happens in other countries, but when it happens closer to home, it really hits, um, hard."
President Bush has urged Americans to start buying more marital aids. "This administration has always been a strong supporter of the american family and we need the american family now more than ever. In order to keep the american family strong and keep this economy rolling we all need to do our, and other people's, parts. All you God-fearing, bible thumping, Jesus-loving Christians - and all you heathens, too - we all need to get out there and buy X-rated DVDs, fill stripper's g-strings with cash, and continue using prostitutes illegally in order to keep your family, and this economy, strong. To show the dedication and belief my administration has in the american family, I will be asking congress to create a $245 million Family and Marital Aid stimulus package. Your government is doing its part, now you, as patriotic Americans, need to get out there and do yours."