The most important thing you can do to make me President of the United States is to give me money, but if you are too cheap or poor to give me money then volunteering some time and talent would be okay.

I guess.

Seriously though, I’m not particularly happy about it. I mean, can’t you give even a buck or two? Really? You’ll go thousands in debt to get that flat screen TV but you can’t even throw some change my way to make me leader of the free world? It’s not like I’m asking for thousands of dollars here – the fact that you are even on this page instead of the give me money page means you’re a cheapskate – but, come on, something? Anything?

I know, how about you skip that half-caf, low-fat mocha latte for one day to give me money.

No?

Fine. Look, if you want to “help” or “volunteer” then so be it, I can’t stop you, but how about calling up some friends and seeing if they have some money to give me. That way you can feel good about yourself for trying to get me elected and I can get my hands on some money to run this campaign, okay?

Some other ideas for volunteering include:

• Throwing parties - I thoroughly enjoy parties and the free beer that comes with them
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• Making a website - Make a website and ask for money for my campaign - and then make sure you give it to me
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• Handing out flyers - boring
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• Mailing letters - boring
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• Calling people - boring
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• Volunteer to give me money!

- Vote often, vote bakiwop