I understand why you would want to contact me, but do I want to talk to you?

You obviously aren’t giving me money or else you would be over here. By the way, have you seriously considered giving me money? I would really like some money. It would be nifty. I might even be grateful enough to listen to you when I become President of the United States. Well, probably not, but if you gave me a lot of money then I might. Especially if, after you gave me lots of money you decided to give me even more money.

And I’m guessing you aren’t even offering to volunteer or you would be over here - not that I’m that excited about volunteering in the first place. I would rather receive money than receive offers of volunteerism. But you can read all about that over here.

Look, I’m sure you are a nice, intelligent, eligible voter with lots of great ideas, and since that’s the case you should forget about contacting me and just vote for me instead. Besides, it’s not you, it’s me. I just feel like I need some space and time to experiment and discover my true self. You were wonderful but you’re just not what I’m looking for at this time – well, except as a voter.

So please, forget about contacting me and just vote for me in November.

Okay?

But if you really still feel the need to get in touch, then try this email address: bakiwop@gmail.com.

- Vote often, vote bakiwop!