Oops, I dropped a little iced tea on the floor.

Let's see. I can put down the plate and the glass I am holding, grab a dishrag, wet it, bend over, clean the iced tea I spilt off the floor, stand up straight, rinse out the dish rag, pick up my plate and glass and be on my way...

or...

wipe it up with the sock on my foot.

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My girlfriend and I were watching Eco Challenge last night.

Girlfriend: "I think it would be very interesting to participate in the Eco Challenge."

She then paused and seemed to think about something for a moment.

Girlfriend: "Except for paddling through an ocean, hiking for miles and miles with a pack on your back, mountain biking through mud, not sleeping for 36 to 48 hours at a time, having to walk through a jungle that has poisonous snakes, alligators, and leeches, and not showering for a couple of weeks."

Me: "So what you are saying is that you would like to very much participate in the Eco Challenge by sitting on the couch and watching it?"

Girlfriend: "Yes."

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I was talking to my girlfriend the other night...

Me: *Just told my girlfriend a lame joke*

Girlfriend: "What?"

Me: "I was trying - unsuccessfully - to be funny."

Girlfriend: "What?"

Me: "I was trying to be funny."

Girlfriend: "Oh. Well, trying is half the battle."

Me: "I thought knowing was half the battle."

Girlfriend: "What?"

Me: "G.I. Joe! Yo Joe!"

Girlfriend: "What?!"

Experts say that communication is the key to a good relationship.

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I watched the end of the Eco Challenge last night. In the Eco Challenge, you start with four competitors per team. Each team has to race under a single flag - so a US team has to be comprised of US citizens, a French team has to be comprised of French citizens, etc. If any one of the four team members leaves the race for whatever reason, the entire team is disqualified.

Two of the teams, a US team and a UK team lost *two* team members each, but the race officials let the two teams combine to form the first international team.

They called themselves U*SUK (you suck, get it? ha ha. US and UK combined, get it? heh) and went on to finish the race together in the spirit of international cooperation.

Their name got me thinking of the strangest names of groups to which I have belonged.

I think the winner would have to go to UBASTARDS. UBASTARDS was a cycling club of which I was the vice president.

UBASTARDS stood for United Bicycling Association of Social and Traditional Actions Regarding Domestic Safari.

What is the strangest group/organization/club name that you have belonged to?

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My girlfriend and I went to bed early last night - I have a couple second interviews today and she has another big presentation - so we thought we would get a very good night sleep.

We got into bed and snuggled a little bit.

I could feel her starting to fall asleep - her breathing deepened and regulated, her heartrate slowed a bit, and her body started relaxing more and more.

I was in that half awake, half asleep stage. I started dreaming a little.

All of the sudden I heard this loud, awful, abrupt noise and I jumped as I struggled to wake up! My jumping pushed Stacy onto the floor where she hit the remote control, turning the television on and the volume all they way up. I jumped for the second time, away from the television, and I ended up on the floor as well.

We crawled back into to bed and Stacy said, "Sorry for snoring honey," as she went back to sleep.

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Server SNAFU signals small sabbatical.

I am sorry if you have tried coming here over the last couple of days, there have been some server issues. My hosting company now assures me that all is well. In other news...

I picked my girlfriend up from work on Wednesday. I got there a little early, so I went into the building where she works to surprise her.

She works in a suite of offices inside of a much larger building. As I was entering the door of her offices, I noticed a sign for a suite of offices next door.

It read, "(Company Name), Division of Psychopharmacology".

"Psychopharmacology?" I thought to myself. "Better mental health through better mushrooms?"

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It has been a while since I've had a nightmare, but last night I had three. Each one a little scarier than the last.

Nightmare Number 1: I was outside of the woods of a foreboding castle being chased by zombies on a cloudy night (of *course* it was cloudy, of *course* it was night). However, I wasn't too worried. I mean, sure, these zombies were the undead trying to eat my brain, but they weren't too smart (or fast, thank goodness zombies walk slowly!). Every time they would get close to me, I would give an awful, exaggerated head-feint to the left and then sprint right - they fell for the feint every time. The worst part of this nightmare was the smell. Undead zombies from the grave smell like, well, dead people who have been decomposing in the ground for years.

Nightmare Number 2: There has been a lot of flooding in Minnesota recently and I dreamt that I had fallen into the Mississippi River and was drowning. This was an "oogie" dream - mostly because the thought of being in the Mississippi is oogie, but also because drowning is a bit oogie too. Up here in Minneapolis, the Mississippi is dirty, and murky, and smelly. The kind of dirty and murky and smelly that you expect to see dead bodies floating in - very oogie indeed. So, I was starting to drown in the Mississippi when I realized that I could swim. So I swam. Problem solved.

Nightmare Number 3: This was the worst of the lot; I was a guest star on the television show V.I.P. - the detective show starring Pamela Anderson Lee. Her and her two other female partners were chasing me. Now I know since I am a normal heterosexual guy that this should have been pleasant, not scary in the least. Wrong. Have you seen how bad this show is?! I know I am unemployed right now and that money is a little tight, but I would hate to think that I would ever get so low in life that I would need to do a guest spot on this show. Really. Seriously. Have you seen their acting?!

❄

* Please, take a moment and send some good vibes her way. *

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* Last night *

Girlfriend: "What day is it today? Is it Monday?"

Me: Thinking a bit; since I don't have a job I don't use a watch or calendar much. "I believe so, dear."

Girlfriend: "I hate Mondays. Is it going to be Monday again soon?"

Me: "I'm afraid so, dear. In about a week or so."

Girlfriend: "Damn," she said while heaving a big sigh.

Me: "Indeed."

❄

I was outside my apartment waiting for a friend to come pick me up yesterday.

It was about 9:45 in the morning, and although it was a bit chilly outside the sun was shining brightly. There was a good springtime vibe on the streets of downtown Minneapolis.

As I was waiting, I noticed a man take notice of me and start walking my way. He had on fairly dirty clothes, and when he got closer, I noticed he didn't smell so great either.

I figured I knew what was going to happen.

"Hey there!" he said with a big smile. "Beautiful weather we're havin' today! Just Gorgeous!"

I usually don't talk to people like him when I am walking downtown, they are usually asking for money, but it was such a beautiful spring day - and there was that good vibe going - that I said, "Yup, gorgeous day. Yes, sir."

He looked a bit surprised that I had talked to him (or maybe that I had called him sir) and then said, "You got 73 cents, mister? I only need 73 cents to get my san'wich at the store."

I usually don't do this either, but I reached in my pocket and pulled out a buck.

"Thank you! Thank you very much!" he smiled again, grabbed my hand, shook it, and then gave me a big hug. "Thank you!"

I watched him walk down the street and turn into a convenience store. About 5 minutes later he came back out eating a sandwich and walking my way.

As he walked by me he smiled, held out his sandwich for me to inspect, and said, "Thank you! Thank you!"

He continued on down the street without giving me my 27 cents in change.

The bastard.

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Gotta love the bendy-straws!

❄

Earth Day, 2001.

caveat lector